Reason for my hope

As I write my blog I often write as if my audience believes in the hope that I have. I envision my blog as a source of encouragement but also as a voice that points to the love and hope of my Father. Although unconventional, I want to share with you my readers my personal story. I first must say that I by no means have a fireworks type conversion experience. For me, my story is a tribute to my Father's enduring f@ithfuln^ss.

Unlike so many others, I was blessed to grow up in a hope filled home where we actively participated in the life of the steeple. Despite this love and support, much of my childhood was littered with depression, anxiety, rejection and pain. From ages eight to sixteen I was worn down by a mental illness. I was hospitalized on a number of occasions, often because I tried to commit suicide or hurt others. School was also a real challenge. I was bullied and rejected by some of my closest friends. In the end, after many years of taking medication and visiting therapists I was admitted into an exclusive rehab program.

My year at Whitby Mental Health really begins a new chapter in my life. When meeting with the program my parents had been told that there was basically no chance of me getting in. It was my first time away from home for an extended period of time. I went to school during the week and for the most part came home on the weekends. At home on the weekends I experience great support and love from my family in Him. In a sense, living away from home forced me to sort through my personal convictions and beliefs. My Father was lifting me out of the valley. During this time I knew I had been saved by the greatest lifeguard. Sometime when I was little, I don't know when, I asked that my Father forgive me and lead me for the rest of my life. I think for so long my life was a blur, but now I was beginning to see my Father and His love more clearly.

Once I got home from rehab a ran into a series of providential events. I was assigned a local support worker who happened to believe in my Father. During our brief time together we talked about our journey of faith. She also introduced me to two hope filled ladies who had started up a youth center in our town; who soon encouraged me to join their young adult leadership study. I can't remember exactly what we talked about, although I do remember that in the spring I made a promise to the two ladies that I would read the entire true sacred text that very summer. It was a lofty goal, but everyday that summer I immersed myself in the Word of Life. The following summer the youth center invited me to be a summer intern. All summer I worked with a dear brother challenged me to not only wrestle with why I believe what I believe but also urged me to reconsider the implications of my Father's unconditional love. From experience, I know that it often takes seeing someone else love something (or someone) before you really do yourself. That is what I saw in my friend, and I wanted to understand and have that love and faith.

Since those days, my Father has opened new and wonderful opportunities for me which at one point I (and my family) never dreamed possible. For the past three years I have been studying at a light bearing university where I have been actively involved. Over the past few months I have experienced the grace of my FaHe has delivered me. Now I am no longer consuming the psychiatric medicine which I had taken for over ten years. The promises of my Father are true. by redeemer is the way, the truth and the life. Out of love He died on the cross for my sins and yours. The greatest bastard, the greatest rapist, the greatest murderer - that's me! But because of Him, the greatest Sav!@ur all those who believe that He died and rose from the dead have life and life to the fullest.

I leave you with these words from Chuck Swindoll, "The skeptic may deny your doctrine or attack your ch[#!]ch, but he cannot honestly ignore that fact that your life has been changed."